Ten Things NOT to Name Your Business

Having recently returned from a Florida vacation, the land of boutiques, and, roadside businesses, I deem myself worthy of judging these places by their names.

Some words used in business names just bring certain connotations to mind, and, it can be enough to make me not go inside and shop.

Most of them, in an effort to keep from sounding outdated, actually date themselves even more in the process.

If your business is named any of these things, I'm not talking about you, yours is great, and, I will be sure to shop there.

Anyway, my list of terms to avoid when naming a business:

1. "Today's" - Anyplace that has to call themselves "today's" anything is likely stocked with "yesterday's", and, not in a vintage-y sort of way.

2. "Modern" - Again, methinks thou tryeth a bit too hard, to convince me.

3. "Classy" - guaranteed to be the sleaziest stuff you can imagine.

4. "Savvy" - screams, "I'm trying to convince you that I'm an authority here, and, I'm 'hip to the scene'.

5. "Swanky" - although it's kind of "retro", my grandmother used to say it a lot, and, I don't usually shop at the same places she did. The jury may be out on this one, but, the word just bugs me.

6. "Lady" - brings up quite the seventies visions. Break out the avocado and harvest gold appliances. Only the best for Classy Ladies.

7. "Tidy" - often describes something called a "nook", or, a "cottage" (both my personal shopping hell, yet, I hang with people who eat this stuff up) . Your business is supposed to be "tidy", that's not really a major selling point for me.

8. "Charming" - Full of either gingham, or, junk referred to as "gently used", or, "distressed".

9. "N' Things" - just don't.

And, finally:

10. Anything with a "K" where a "C" belongs - If you own "Kountry Klutter Kakes", I will Kut you.